the perks of being a wallflower
she’s the man
10 things i hate about you
pretty in pink
nick and norahs infinite playlist
500 days of summer
the breakfast club
silver linings playbook
(alright this isn’t a list of my all time favorite movies or it would be a lot longer but these are all ones i have just recently seen for the first time and they are really really good so)
I’m tired of trying to be your friend. I’m freaking tired. I hate how the only person you talk to is your boyfriend. Or maybe Kara or Lizzie. Or maybe just that you don’t talk to me. I hate how you are always hugging or hanging off of your boyfriend. I think it’s gross. Also I hate him in general. He used to bully me, and no, I’m not going to forget that. I get that you have a boyfriend now. Woohoo. That doesn’t mean that I get why you have to stop talking to me because of it. I get that you probably want to spend time with him because he’s going to be gone next year. I also don’t care. You are in high school. And I will be gone forever, but nobody really seems to care about that, no big deal, I’m NOT going to be back the next year, and I just feel unloved. I hate that I used to consider you my best friend last year and now I don’t even talk to you except to say hello when you walk into science and to recommend movies to you in Mr. Reynold’s class that I’m 98% sure you don’t watch. I hate that I text you a lot and you never reply and yet I know you’re getting my messages. I hate that you used to text me last year about all of your problems with Colton and with your family and that now you don’t even care. I hate that you called me the night your sister was born to tell me how depressed you were and I sat in the car awkwardly with my dad in there and listened like a good friend but didn’t want to say anything in front of him. I hate that I talked to you of all people when my sister had her baby. You didn’t care. Why. I hate that I was such good friends with you last year in the first place. I hate that I had you over to spend the night at my house. I hate that I told you secrets. I hate how whenever I go to the band foyer you’re sitting in Colton’s lap annoyingly close and you ignore me. I hate how I got you into the vlogbrothers and jacksgap and lots of books and music and that because of that we like so much of the same things. I hate that because we liked the same things I used to feel so close to you. I hate how for some reason I thought you were my best friend. I was obviously never yours, you had Kara. I hate how now Kara is my best friend because I always pick the worst people to like because I know you are hers. I hate how I sit in the library on the computer at lunch with Luxi because all of my friendships suck and I don’t want to sit in the band foyer and feel alone and I don’t want to sit in the freshman hallway and feel alone. I hate that I’m moving and nobody cares. I hate that I can’t talk to anybody about anything. I hate that I feel so alone all the time. I hate that nobody shows up to my house at 3 in the morning and hugs me and that nobody ever just tells me that they love me and that it’s going to be all right and not in school surrounded by people but alone where I can actually feel like they mean it because sometimes I just need to hear that. I hate that the person I talk to most now is my mom. I hate that I’m staying up until 4 30 am and I am supposed to wake up in 2 and a half hours. I hate that people say I’m mean just because I’m sarcastic all the time when in reality I put up with way too much shit and I’m too nice. I hate that at basketball games nobody ever sits next to me in the stands, they all sit up high and I know that they see me. I hate how nobody ever thinks about me. I hate that I’m in this wheelchair. I hate that I’m so sad all the time. Either I’m sad or I feel nothing and there is nothing better than that like happiness that I feel and I think if I told my mom that she’d take me to counseling because she’d say I have depression which I agree and I’ve been getting bad because of it but I don’t want to talk to a counselor. I hate that my life’s so messed up. I hate that I’m alive.
I hate that I was such a good friend to you.
Why am I here
why dont ppl do random things for me? u know. send me a message, draw me, paint me, send me $300,000
hell yeah to the kids who feel like they’re dying inside but still gather up the strength to roll out of bed, get dressed, and leave the house. You are strong and beautiful and worth so much more than you know.