I’m going through with it. I’m going to delete all my social media and games and stuff and I don’t want to be back on tumblr for a long time because I need to get this stuff done and work out my life and I don’t know if I have the freaking willpower to do that but I need to because I’m scared for myself right now
Hopefully-bye tumblr.

*i apologize in advance for being really annoying today*
So I was going through this box in my room that I still have from moving like 4 months ago and I had the smart idea to look through this pencil box filled with pictures and old letters and things and it was probably the stupidest decision ever because it made me think a lot and since being in Utah I haven’t been thinking a lot about the past because honestly since getting an iPhone I’ve done nothing but waste my time 24 hours a day. And now I’m thinking about how much I miss Tillamook but not specifically Tillamook when last year when all I did was worry about moving but just the past like my freshman year or 8th grade where literally all I did was worry about boys and fangirl and freshman year was when I thought I had found myself and when I discovered things like Coldplay and Arctic Monkeys and the Vlogbrothers and Doctor Who and I thought I knew myself kind of and I knew who my friends were for the most part and then last year was when things started to change and now everything’s different and I never talk to anybody from home and I try to call Kara or Stephanie or Markita but they’re busy or they can only talk for like 5-10 minutes and I snapchat people but that isn’t TALKING. I hate that I’ve lost so many friends over the years and I hate that nobody ever makes an effort and there’s some that I WISH would make some kind of effort but it’s like a year late for that and I hate that I’m living in Utah because I’m so afraid of talking to people and I miss my home and how comfortable I was there and I don’t know how to make friends and I don’t know how to fit in with my wheelchair and everybody in Tillamook knew my story and accepted me and I hate how big my school is and I hate this feeling of everything just being wrong and absolutely nothing is right right now. Also since I got an iPhone I literally do nothing but play on it and go on social media or Netflix and it’s actually a big problem because I am literally failing 3 classes and I have a C in another and it’s because I don’t do my homework and I don’t do my homework because I’m always on my phone or if not that then the sims and I literally do not know how to stop and I have 2 papers to write and about a month of Chemistry to do and the end of the term is THIS WEEK and I don’t know what to do I can’t believe I’ve done this to myself and I’m so stressed out about it and yet I’m not making any changes and I’m scared okay I’m actually really scared for myself and the only solution I can think of is deleting all my apps and telling my mom to take my phone unless someone texts me or calls me (which isn’t likely) and I’m scared and it may not seem like a big deal but I’ve been researching colleges and stuff and do you know how hard it is to pay for college and get scholarships especially if I want to go to college in ENGLAND like I can’t believe my life right now
I just wish I could start everything over and that I could make different choices in my life and that my dad hadn’t lost his job and I just want to change everything because I’m so depressed and I’m so lost right now and I wish I could call Kara and vent or something but I can’t because her life sucks too because she’s sad her boyfriend isn’t there while she’s a princess for homecoming but I need a friend to talk to and to cry to right now I really do I want a hug and honestly I’m thinking about calling my mom to talk because I’m so desperate but even she is busy
I don’t know what to do






Watching this (and fearing broken ankles with each loop) I can’t helping thinking about that old quote Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except backwards and in high heels.

But no, if you watch closely you’ll see she doesn’t even step on the last chair. That means she had to trust that dude to lift her gently to the ground while he was spinning down onto that chair. That takes major guts. I’d be pissing myself and fearing a broken neck if I were in her place. Kudos to her. 

I can’t stop watching this. 

I feel like the spinny thing would be fun if I trusted my partner and had any coordination whatsoever.

Speak Now: Someday I'll be living in a big old city.
1989: Welcome to New York, it's been waiting for you.




one direction’s worst career move was promoting their album at the same time taylor swift is promoting hers

I don’t compare myself to anyone else; I don’t make comments about anyone else because they do what feels right for them, and that’s okay by me.


i feel like taylor really does know most of our names??? like i know the names of almost everyone i see on my dash and i’m sure as taylor’s seen us all talking to each other and saying names she’s learned them gradually the way we all have??? i feel like she KNOWS

No, Taylor knows the names of the people she follows that know each other I think. Like.. None of the popular Taylor blogs follow me and therefore Taylor doesn’t know me. At least, that’s what I think.